La Luna Bella
by Northern-Southern Belle
Summary: Selina Di Celli Salvatore, married to Damon Salvatore at age fourteen. Started flying solo four years later at age eighteen. Now she's out of the shadows and come to pay her husband a visit. And get some surprises along the way.
1. La Storia Comincia

Disclaimer- As all of us know, I am not L.J. Smith. I'm simply a fan adding my own little twists to her brilliance.

A/N- Hey people! For those of you who are wondering, I've changed my pen name from Jocelyn Angel to Christine O'Malley the Angel. This story is a prequel to my brilliantly funny (but not yet written) Harry Potter filled spoof of _The Vampire Diaries. _Anyone who wishes to help me cast that put your thoughts in review form!

December 21, 1993

_Caro Diary, _

_This is the first time I've ever done anything like this, so you'll have to pardon me if it's not all that good. Today is my five-hundred-and-twentieth birthday. No, I'm not joking. I'm a vampire. My full name is Belladonna Selina Trilby Caprice De Celli Salvatore. It's really not my fault that I'm here. It's Katherine's. Katherine Von Swartzchild is my stupid, no good, feather-brained twit of a cousin. I never liked her. Papa told me once that if I just would have given her a chance, I would have seen what a sweet, well-tempered girl she was. Whatever, I never believed a word of his "sympathize with Katherine" crap. Damn it, if she even had half a brain, none of us would be here now. What the hell was she thinking, biting my husband while I was away? She was lucky I guess, that time._**Großmutte**r (grandmother)_ told papa that it would be good for me to spend some time away from Italy, from home. That was after she found out that Damon and I had slept together. I don't see what the big problem was. I mean, the two of us were married already! Oh, she is such an uptight, sexist bitch sometimes. It makes me want to scream. I think the reason why Katherine is so messed up is because _Onkel _Richard and _Tante _Heidi let Grandma turn her into "the perfect lady." Anyway, I was gone visiting my "intended" Baron Wilhelm Falkstein when Uncle Richard had some business down in Florence. And since Katherine is such a baby she can't stay at home, he brought her and her maid Gudren with him. He dropped her off at the Salvatore estate while he went into the city to do whatever it is that he does, and it was while she was there that all hell broke lose. First, she manipulated Stefan, Damon's younger brother into falling in love with her, then, when he came home from the University; she got her claws in Damon too. By the time I got home, both brothers were dead, I was husbandless, and in a very bad situation. Since Damon was dead, I had no choice but to marry Wilhelm. As a final goodbye, I went to the back gardens and sang out my song of grief. That's when I found out what she had done. That she had turned him into a vampire. After I finished my song, I heard a rustle from behind the lemon trees, and there he was, pale, handsome, and beckoning to me. I went over to him, and he told me his tale. At first, I was angry with him. Then it became clear to me that the situation could still be salvaged. I told him about what was to become of me now that he was gone. I can remember him shaking his head at me, narrowing his eyes, and his assurances of how that wouldn't happen. That very night, we made plans for me to go away with him. That night was the beginning of the end. As the moon now rises, the need calls. _

_The story will continue later_

_Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,_

_(Until we meet again)_

_Selina_

_Beautiful woman, Moon, One who sings musical thrills, unpredictable._

A/N- So what do you think? Selina's been in my brain for a while, and it feels so good to get her on paper! Caution: There will be more swearing in this story. And more foreign words which I will translate if they aren't painfully obvious already.

And remember: Read and Review

-Christy the Angel


	2. La Mia Vita

Disclaimer- see first chapter

December 22, 1993

**Caro** Diary,

I looked at last night's entry, and it shocked me. That wasn't me talking. Really it wasn't. Well it was, but I haven't talked like that recently. Before we continue with the story, I have to tell you a few things. Wilhelm was the guy Grossmutter wanted me to marry. She _didn't approve of Damon, and we never had a meeting where she missed an opportunity to pull out the list and tell me the many reasons why she didn't approve of him. The main reason was that he was an Italian. She didn't really like Italians. Mama and Papa had to get married in secret. My father is Baron Fredrick Robert Richard Eric Van Helsing. My mother is Countess Teresa Maria Andria Carlotta De Celli. I have an older brother named Johan, and Elena is my little sister. See, five hundred years ago, people had a strong belief in prophecy and magic. A wise woman told our mother that Elena would return in half a millennium to be reunited with Stefan, Damon, and I. Damon. Sometimes I forget we're even married. He does too, apparently, considering all the women he's cheated on me with. But that's okay with me because I cheated on him a lot too. Believe me the excitement wears off quickly. Can you imagine staying attached to the same guy for five hundred years? I can't. But I'm letting myself get off topic. Damon and I had to get married in secret as well. I'll never forget our wedding. Grossmutter barged in screaming like a **donna pazza,** a madwoman, cursing all of us to hell. It was quite a sight. Then Damon grabbed a torch and set it to the material at the alter. Before I knew it, the whole castle was engulfed in flames, and everyone was running for the doors screaming "**Fuoco, Fuoco",** fire, fire. It was certainly a day to remember._

_The Van Helsings were less one castle but it wasn't like Grossmutter couldn't afford to have it rebuilt._

_But the night by the lemon tree was memorable too. After the promise, we made our first exchange of blood. Then Damon told me to go back to the house and rest. The next morning, I felt tired, weak. This worried my parents very much. To them, I was the strong daughter, the invincible daughter. I had survived two bouts of tuberculosis before my fifth birthday, an impossible feat in those days. My parents then decided to let me have a life instead of making me stay inside and sew all day. I played sports, learned swordplay, and became an expert in many areas of study. Many people in Florence thought of me as a miracle child, a genius, and that didn't even take into account that the many boys in town thought me extremely beautiful. Grossmutter thought of my genius as an effrontery to Germany, and always asked me why I wouldn't share my talents, instead of just keeping them among the privileged Italian upper class. And I told her, "Grossmutter, Italy bore me, named me, and bred me, and Italy will keep me always." And I've kept my word, even to this day._

Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,

(Until we meet again)

Selina

A/N- Read and Review!

**-**Christy the Angel


	3. L'estremità, l'inizio

Disclaimer- see first chapter

incarnated-soul- Sorry about screwing the story up so you got confused. This story is the first time I replaced a chapter with new content, and it kinda got messed up. Anyway, thanks a lot for your reviews. They're what keep me going.

Now, here's the next chapter just for you!

December 31st, 1993.

**Caro **Diary,

Sorry it's been so long since I've written you, but now I think it's time to get out more of my story. The weeks went by quickly after that first exchange. After that, I spent most of my days inside because the new blood swirling inside me made my once normal eyes sensitive to light. Before I knew it, **Natale**, or Christmas, was upon us, which meant that it was once again nearly time for me to meet Damon. This time would be the last. I was kind of worried, because I feared I would not have the strength or the will to make it in to the back garden. There were also other things that stood in my way. One was the endless regiment of servants at our estate, all of which my Mama had ordered to station themselves outside of my room to take care of me due to my rapidly decreasing heath.

Luckily, though they were superstitious, none of the servants suspected vampirism. They just thought I had that one disease that makes you think you're a vampire. (A/n- I can't remember what it's called, but you know what I mean, right?)

Of course Papa had to go and tell Grossmutter so she could tell Wilhelm and postpone our wedding, which she was planning with unrestrained glee. When she heard, she said she wasn't surprised and that Papa shouldn't have been either. She said that she knew the way I'd been raised would offend God, and that one day He would send down **dämonen** or demons to punish me for my sins.

Wilhelm himself was also a frequent visitor, although I always made sure to pretend I was asleep when he stopped by. He would bring me bouquets containing blue violets (faithfulness), red roses (I love you- that makes me shudder even as I write it), honeysuckle (devoted love, generous and devoted affection), glory flowers (glorious beauty- he's not always so terrible.), Dahlias (forever thine- uck again ), and finally, some Iceland moss (heath) to sprinkle on my bed.

And he would talk to me as I lay there pretending to be asleep. He would tell me how beautiful he thought I was, and how happy I'd make him if I would just become his wife. I admit he had a charming way with words, and was not a bad guy. But he was just too much of a _man_ if you know what I mean.

Finally, on the Eve of **natale, **after all the festivities were finished, I managed to sneak out to Damon in the gardens. He spoke of the adventures we would have and what glory there was in being together. Then he said it was time. When he put his lips to my neck this final time, I didn't flinch. I just thought of the world I was leaving behind, a rare tear sliding down my cheek. After he was done this time, he gave me some more of his own blood to drink, but not before I invited him into our house. After I finished drinking, I was limp and unresponsive. To the untrained eye, I looked dead. Damon carried me to my bedroom and laid me down on my bed. Now all I could do was wait for one of the maids to find me the next morning.

My **funerale** the next morning was a very sad occasion. Everyone cried. Even Grossmutter faked it for Papa's sake. I was buried in Mama's family vault. That night, I awoke to see Damon standing in the tomb, waiting for me. I took his hand, and we ran off together into the night, never seen again by another living soul.

There, I think that is enough for tonight, though my story is far from over. It is now a new year.

Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora

(Until we meet again)

Selina


	4. Perso e trovato

Disclaimer- see first chapter

_January 8, 1994_

_**Caro **Diary,_

_Sorry again. I've been thinking about where we are in the story. This now is the part most hard to right down on paper. Not because of any type of hardship or trouble, but because I really haven't thought about it in such a long time._

_After the night he came for me, we lived like vagabonds, or _**criminali**, _not seeing anyone, and no one seeing us. Then one day, a mere four months after my death, I began to notice a disquieting metamorphosis in my husband. As a vampire, he had become more ruthless, dangerous, more thirsty for blood, and most eager to kill anyone. This was most disturbing to me. When we had known each other in happier years, he had been a sweet and caring type of guy. But now, the demons that grossmutter always told me existed in all people seemed to be coming out in him. _

_Damon began muttering night and day about Stefan and his wish to find him and end his life for being such a traitor to him. _

_Soon, it all became just too much. We parted ways, not on amicable or amorous terms. We fought constantly before I made my decision to leave him._

_Then he joined one of the free companies, ruthless groups of _**banditi**, _who torture and kill all their victims._

_I, meanwhile, chose to lead a good life. I stayed in Italy, and got myself in the favor of several handsome young men. That was fine for awhile, but my wonderer's heart was quick to tire. I became a sort of a homeless Diana. I wandered from place to place. On a whim, I even went to Germany, to Wilhelm's estate. No matter how much I wish to, I cannot forget the look on his face the night I saw him. Though he was much older at that point, I still could see the face of a man who had once been in love, had hopes and dreams, crushed to death by a selfish young girl._

_He was saying his prayers by his bedside that night, and crying the tears of a lonely man. He never married, just lived out his days alone, being forced to have mistresses and produce bastards to keep the family intact. _

_I never again saw my family. To Grossmutter, it was no big loss I suppose. But to my parents and brother, the only wish I had for them was to be able to tell them I was all right. _

_But that would've been too painful for both parties. As the years went by, I am ashamed to say I tried to forget my family. As the twentieth century dawned, I found new opportunity. I took a steamship to America. I took a job as an actress with a traveling theatre company, and made a good wage. After I had saved up enough money, the need for high living resurfaced, and I placed myself in the hands of American society. I was a hit with everyone, although here, being_** nuovi soldi**_, or new money is frowned upon. But that was only what they knew. _

_In a strange twist of fate, one of the few relationships I had during that time period was with an ancestor of Wilhelm's. We grew very close. He even proposed marriage to me._

_He was so unlike Wilhelm. He was spontaneous and unlikely. He had a love of life and he lived with vigor._

_In a way, I guess, James Andrew Falkstein was my perfect man, which leads me to wonder. Would Wilhelm have been like that if I would have given him any sort of opportunity? It just shows how foolish young girls can be._

_Anyway, all was well until 1917, when James left to fight in the Great War for his country. He was killed in action two months later, and I was left alone._

_That was when I sort of lost it. Over the next seventy years, I became selfish, and ruthless, sucking dry anyone I could find._

_In 1991, a mere three years ago, my wonderings brought me to the town of Fell's Church, Virginia. The past seemed alive to me here. It was a good feeling._

_One night, after feeding, I was just wandering around when I happened to stumble on to a clearing. I heard in my mind two mental voices that were as much a part of me as my own, but I hadn't heard either for centuries._

_One was Stefan Salvatore. The other was Damon, my husband, whom I hadn't seen in five hundred years._

_The hour is late. The story will continue._

_fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,_

_Selina_

_Incarnated-soul- Thanks again for your review! I'm not offended by your thoughts on Selina's Grossmutter. That's how you're supposed to feel about her!_

_And the whole Damon-damonen thing was pure coincidence, but I'm glad you liked it!_

_Oh, and we have a new member In the_** La Luna Bella**_ fan club. Yay!_

_tyiagirl- Thanks for reviewing my story, and welcome to the world of Selina!_


	5. l'inizio reale

Disclaimer- you know where to look

January 15, 1994

**Caro** Diary

It's been a week, I know. But you'll have to bear with me now, because it is all going to come out hard and fast. I've waited long enough.

Like I have said before, it was a mere three years ago I happened upon the town of Fell's Church, and that late one night, my wonderings and fate brought me face to face with my husband Damon, who at that point, I hadn't seen in over five hundred years. It came as no surprise to me that they were fighting when I found them. Well, all right, they weren't fighting exactly, just arguing passionately with each other. At first, they didn't notice me, but pretty soon, I spoke in their minds. Damon looked up at me, shock naked on his face. When Stefan said "Selina, is it really you?" I had to think about it. The truth being I hadn't been called my real name by anyone for a long time. When I was an actress on the stage, I was Miss Maria Carlotti. That's what James knew me as, as well.

To tell you the truth, I never really wanted to be Selina again after my time in the states. It had been such a serene time for me that I'd almost forgotten my past, almost forgotten the man who was now staring at me sulkily like he wasn't too happy to see me, his dark eyes like two raging, unrelenting storms. All we could do was stare at each other. In all the years we were apart, I don't think either one of us could forget what made it so. And we certainly hadn't been either of us completely good. I had become a bigamist, though my intentions were for a better life, and you can't hide that from **il buon signore.** The Good Lord watches us all the time. So I was staring at Damon, Damon was staring at me. Stefan was staring at both of us, obviously puzzled. After the transformation, Stefan and his brother had separated, so he knew nothing of our marital discourse. But even before we separated, one could tell we wouldn't last long. After Damon quit the University that was the first time I ever became angry with him. I told him that he should care more about education then being **an interruttore del cuore**, a heartbreaker. It took him forever to get me to respect him after that, and here we were, together again after five hundred years, still nursing wounds our hearts and time hadn't healed. I wish with all my heart that James were here right now. It would be interesting. I think I would like to see how Damon would handle my marriage to another man.

I had had enough of our little staring contest. I told Damon that weather or not he liked it, I was here to stay. I didn't feel it was necessary to tell him about James yet.

I asked them what they had been arguing about before I had interrupted.

Stefan gulped, breathed rather extensively, and said: "We were arguing about my new girlfriend. My new girlfriend Elena."

My pen has run out of ink and it's getting late. Two good reasons to stop here.

Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora

Selina

Incarnated-soul: It was Wilhelm who lost hopes and dreams. I hope you like "the real beginning" (chapter title) of this story. Oh, and how much of VD have you read? I don't want to give anything away! Thanks again for reviewing!


	6. sorprese

Disclaimer: Y'all know where to look.

January 22, 1994

**Caro** diary,

Another week spent. Now we must continue.

I don't ever remember feeling as floored as I did when Stefan made his little announcement. My brain completely ceased to function. After awhile, I finally managed to choke out "Elena's here?" Stefan nodded at me. "But she remembers nothing yet." I sighed and sat down heavily on a log covered with moss. The autumn air was thick with the scent of damp earth, and I could see an uprooted tree furled into the distance. I narrowed my eyes at Damon, and I knew he could see. But he didn't make any signs.

Stefan sat on the log beside me, and Damon reluctantly followed him.

"So," Stefan said, trying to sound congenial, "what's been going on since we saw you last?" I looked at him in the dark, smiling to myself. Yes, it was time.

"Well," I answered very nonchalantly, "After your brother went insane with the dark, we parted from each other with angry words, and I spent most of the years wishing to **alto cielo **(high heaven), that I should never have to seem him again." I could feel Damon's scowl.

"Eventually, I came back to America, and became an actress on the stage. Then I fell in love with a **molto attraente **(very handsome) man named James Falkstein and he proposed to me. We got married. But then he went off to fight in the Great War, and died. I was left all alone. After that, I wondered around. I was lonely, sad and lonely. And to think, a relative of Wilhelm's made me feel that way!" I said this last part with much flourish and tossing of my hair.

I heard Damon cry out, swear vehemently as he often did. He got up from his spot next to the log and marched over to me.

He marched in measured pace until he was standing right in front of me. Then he grabbed my arms roughly, pulled me to him, and kissed me more passionately then I have ever known. The shock of it sent my mind reeling, and for a moment or more, I forgot our troubles.

After he was through with me, Damon shoved me back down on the log, and walked back to his seat. For awhile, none of us spoke. Then Stefan took my hand and led me to a sleek black Porsche. His car. He held the door open for me, and I got in, uncertain of our destination. Overhead, a crow preceded the car. We drove for a bit, then stopped at a house. Stefan opened my door for me, and the crow perched on a tree in the front yard. Stefan led me to a side window. In the room, I could see a blonde haired girl sitting at her vanity combing her hair.

"Elena," he told me.

For the first time ever, memory has stalled me. Oh, well, can you wait another week?

fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,

Selina

Tyiagirl- what do you like about my story? I'm curious. Thanks for the review.

Incarnated-soul- You know I wouldn't forget about you. Does this chapter help your question any? That part of book one was set in October, I think.

And just so you know, I changed my pen name to sound more mature so no, I'm not offended. Oh, and do you like Damon's reaction to James?


	7. Amore e Perdono

Disclaimer- veda il primo capitolo (see first chapter)

January 29, 1994

**Caro **diary

It's that time again.

I could do nothing but stare at the window. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe. Stefan noticed my silence and turned away from the window and looked at me.

He probably thought I was ill or something. When he knew me in the past, I was quick to respond to anything said to me. But now, as I stood outside here, watching my little sister whom I hadn't seen in a very long time, there were no words. For the first time in five-hundred years, I was rendered _incapace parlare, _I was speechless. Then, to my surprise, Stefan grabbed my hand and led me to the house's front door. I didn't feel much like moving myself, so I let him tow me, and all the while, I stared at the tree, my body screaming at me to change and change now. I don't know if I can face her after what I did. Stefan said she remembered nothing yet, but what if I'm the catalyst? What if, when she sees me, it all comes back to her? I'll just explain why I did what I did and hope she'll forgive me.

See, way back when, Elena and I were as close as Stefan and Damon were distant. I told her everything. Everything except my plans to become a vampire. When I left this world as a human, I left many things unfinished. I never told Elena goodbye, or that I loved her, I never thanked my parents for all they did, and I never told my sister about her destiny. I left her without someone of her own (because she was supposed to be with Stefan, but I was so busy in my own affairs I forgot to try and talk some sense into him.), I left her without a person to confide in.

Stefan knocked on the door softly and politely. I could hear footsteps pounding from inside the house. Then the door opened, and my sister and I were face to face. She looked at Stefan, then she looked at me curiosity painted on her face.

"Do I know you?" she asked me. I couldn't gather breath for a response. Stefan said, "Elena, once we get inside, I'll explain everything."

We stepped inside the warm house, and I was thankful to be out of the wind. We were led to a living room, and Stefan took a seat on the couch and pulled me down beside him. Elena excused herself for a minute to go get something. When she came back down, she carried a blue-covered book, her diary. Apparently, she'd been dreaming of me for many nights. Stefan motioned to her, and she sat on his other side. Now the couch was full.

"You want to know who this is? This is Selina, does that ring a bell?"

She squinted, deep in thought. "Well, a few nights ago, I had a very strange dream. I was clothed in a dress of your time. I was dancing in a field. She was with me." Elena paused here and nodded at me. "The field was in front of a big house, and an older boy with blond hair and brown eyes was riding on a horse. Then a short, chubby woman with dark hair, and a short slim woman, also with dark hair came out of the house and called our names. We picked up our skirts and ran. The boy picked me up and put me on his horse, and all of a sudden, she," Elena pointed at me, "disappeared. I was alone. The women came down from the house, put their arms around me, and led me inside. On my bed, there was a necklace shaped like the moon. They said my sister had left it for me."

I felt the need to speak now. "And how did you feel after you received the necklace? Did you feel angry?

She looked at me. "The past few weeks have helped me remember everything. I just didn't want to tell Stefan because I felt it was personal. I'm not mad now; I was a little upset at first, but I love you, so I trust you had a good reason for doing what you did."

I had forgotten all about my necklace. My mother had given it to me the day I was born. It was very special to me. Before I died, I never took it off. From the back cover of the book, she pulled it out. The moon pendant was on a slender gold chain that gleamed in the bright light of the living room. Elena held it out to me, pulling out another necklace, this one with a sun pendant. I was still unable to speak, and so was she. As Stefan watched, we embraced each other and cried.

Well, I think that's long enough!

fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,

Selina

Incarnated-soul- That's all right! Hope you like the update!

tyiagirl- thanks for the review. Hope you like the new chapter!


	8. Resistenza e debolezza

Tutto è nel capitolo uno (everything's in chapter one)

February 5, 1994

**Caro **diary,

Finally, Elena and I were able to pull ourselves apart. Our cheeks were wet from crying, and our hair was sticking to our faces. We turned around as one, still clutching one another tightly, to face Stefan. He had gotten off the couch and was pacing around the room so rapidly, I feared that he would wear a hole through the floor. When he turned to face us, I expected his face to show joy and happiness about the fact that Elena and I had been united, but instead, the expression on his handsome face was one of deep torment.

Elena pulled herself away from me and walked to him to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He took no notice of this however. The look in his eyes showed hurt.

"How could you have kept something like this from me?" he asked my sister. He now looked wretched, his eyes red and swollen, and his hands shaking. A fine tremor was running through his body.

For all his good qualities, I sometimes thought Stefan was too **sensibile ed impressionabile **(sensitive and emotional) for his own good. I suppose that's why things ended for him the way that they did.

I suppose that it was Stefan's little emotional outbursts that made me prefer his brother's company to his. Although Damon often shows fits of emotion as well, he shows them in a more masculine fashion that involves swearing, occasional physical violence against inanimate objects, and many mugs of drink. There is no way that Damon would ever throw himself weeping on my shoulder. That just isn't how he operates.

Anyway, back to Stefan, who although he is very emotional and willing to show his feelings, he has earned my respect by not being a freaking college dropout like some husbands I could mention. (By which I mean Damon of course. James was a Ph.D.)

Elena was stroking his hair. Then she sat him down on the couch and explained.

"I didn't tell you anything because I didn't know it was connected to you in any way. I just thought it was a strange dream. Now stop worrying, okay?"

Stefan nodded, wiped his eyes, and managed a small smile.

"Now," I asked him sternly, "What else were you two fighting about?"

Stefan sighed. "The usual thing. He was threatening my existence, robbing me of my blood. I am weak, Selina. I can do nothing to stop him."

That made me snort. "Hell yes you can, Stefan Salvatore! All you have to do is start feeding. You'll never be able to do anything unless you stop suppressing the need!"

"I can't kill things. I'm not like the monster you married."

That's when I saw red. "Just a minute now buster. Damon's not a monster; you just don't know how to handle him. Besides, I'm not asking you to glory in your nature. I don't want you to become a crazed, psychotic nut like he was; I'm just asking that you take enough so that you can be on your guard. I don't care how you do it. Suck on animals for all I care, but do it, please. If not for yourself, then for Elena, who I am very sure doesn't want to see you die."

Finally, Stefan looked up at me. I could see a glimmer of sanity in his eyes. It seemed as if he had returned to reality.

"All right, Selina."

We said goodbye to my sister a little while later. As we walked outside, the shape of the crow coalesced into the shape of my husband. Not wanting to fly anymore, he hopped a ride with us in the car back to the boardinghouse.

I started to get in the front seat of the Porsche, but before I did, I felt a presence in my mind. I looked up in to the tree that Damon the crow had just vacated. Sitting in it now were two new birds: one was a snowy owl. The other was a hawk. They sat side by side. They were both staring at me. That was unusual, as most animals kept their distance. I would look in their minds some other time. I turned away from the tree and got in the car. As we drove away, the birds never moved.

That's it for now!

Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,

Selina

mouseeee- I tried a reaction for Stefan. What do you think? Thanks for the review!

Incarnated-soul- Yeah, sorry about the abruptness. And I hate to say this, but the twist is still many chapters away, so you'll have to keep reading, but I'll give you a hint: it has to do with the birds.


	9. Eine Horrid Deutsche Erfahrung

Only plot is mine, and Selina.

February 19, 1994

**Caro **diary,

As Stefan drove, the birds followed us. Both Stefan and my husband noticed nothing. The white owl stirred feelings in me especially. Feelings of anger, hatred, and resentment so strong I could taste them.

When we arrived home, I got out of the car and walked inside quickly, wanting only to get away.

Alone in my room, I pulled out something that I hadn't looked at for a long time. It was a photo album that contained pictures of James and me. I hadn't looked at them in years. It had always been too heartbreaking for me to remember what I had lost. As I looked at the yellowed photos hidden between the covers of the album, memory enveloped me. One picture in particular stood out. It was a picture of the two of us on the day James shipped out. I was actually smiling and so was he. He looked so gallant in his soldiers' uniform, going off to fight for his country. Afterwards, we'd gone back into the house and he told me that he would always be with me no matter what, weather he lived or died. And that, he assured me, was a promise. I sometimes wonder if he really meant that. Although we were only together for a short time, I still remember everything about him: his face, his kiss, his touch, and I would know if he was watching me, and he isn't. Looking at the picture, it struck me too how much James looked like his ancestor. All truth being told, it wasn't Wilhelm himself that made me afraid of marriage, it was the thought of going back to Germany. All my life, I lived in Italy. Well, not _all _my life. From when I was born until I was about four, I lived in Germany. It was awfully cold there all the time, and the wintry demeanor of my Grossmutter didn't help any. Every day from the day I was born, I would have a "lady lesson." During that time, Grossmutter would teach me all I needed to know to be a proper German lady. Eventually though, it became clear to her that I was not an easy person to work with. Whenever I would mess up or try and be active the way Papa allowed me to, she would pull out the horse's whip and hit me with it until I cried and cringed and did what she said. This went on every day for awhile, until one day, Mama was helping me get ready for a party and saw the scars. She asked me what they were from, and that was when I told her what Grossmutter had been doing to me. That wasn't her only form of torture though. Whenever someone would come to visit, she would introduce Katherine, Elena, and myself saying "May I present my granddaughters **Katherine der Engel,** (Katherine the Angel), **Giselle das vollkommene,** (Giselle the Perfect. Back then, Elena's German name was Giselle. We were never called by our first names. Only our middle names.), and lastly, there was me: **Selina die Schande,** (Selina the disgrace. Isn't that sweet of her?)

Finally, my Mama, who could never stand grossmutter in the first place, told Papa that I had to be sent away. So, I was. Mama sent me to Italy, and that's where I happily stayed for the rest of my life. Based on my horrid German experience, it should not have come as a surprise to anyone that I had no desire to go back.

After awhile, I put the photo album away, and got ready to go to sleep. As I got ready, I felt the hawk's presence again. I looked up, and it was sitting on my open window sill. As I turned off the lights and fell asleep, the hawk vacated the window sill, shifting into human form. It stared down at my sleeping figure for a few moments, and stroked my hair. Then, it resumed hawk form and flew away into the night.

Almost bedtime once again.

**Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,**

Selina

incarnated-soul- That's okay. Selina may seem mean about Stefan, but that's because she doesn't really have any sympathy for weakness. She's a tough cookie. And she doesn't actually hate Damon, she's just disappointed in him. What do you think of the update? I went German this chapter!

a pisces- I will. And does this chappie give you any clues? Thanks for the review!


	10. Interamente Ora Sta ritornando A Me

See first chapter.

February 26, 1994

**Caro**, diary,

Once again, the story is hard for me to tell. I've done a lot of talking about how much I loved James, and how much better a husband he was then Damon, but that's not necessarily true on all accounts. I've been a bit harsh, I suppose. While James was a sweet and caring intellectual type and I could talk to him about anything, I never actually got around to telling him that I was a vampire.

I would hunt alone at night, and cry to myself. It was a very lonely existence, although I loved James more then I could express anywhere, and it hurt me so to keep such a big part of me from him.

At night, when I would hunt alone, I would try to calm myself by remembering happier times. One of the happiest times I can remember is right after Mama sent me to Italy. Since she had to stay in Germany with my Papa and my siblings, she put me in the care of her best friend's family. (My Mama and Damon and Stefan's Mama were best friends.)

While I was growing up, Damon was like a second older brother to me. He (and everyone else in the house,) called me **Bambi** until I was about twelve or so. It means "little one," and as much as I hated it in my youth, I would do anything to hear him call me that now.

Nicknames weren't all. When I first arrived, I had countless nightmares about Grossmutter that would trouble my sleep for hours. Somehow Damon always knew though, so it wouldn't last for hours. He would wake up, come into my room, shake my shoulders and whisper "Bambi, are you all right?" then, I would turn over and face him, the tears running down my cheeks, and whimper "no." Then, he would take my hand and we would walk into the gardens and sit by the fountain. The moonlight and the sound of rushing water would always help me sleep. When I said I was tired, he would take me back to my room and stay with me until morning.

Of course, this was all before his mother died. This was when I was four and he was seven. Occasionally, my Mama would come by and see the two of us together, and I would hear her talking to herself about how the two of us would be married some day.

But even back then, our relationship still had snags. After his Mama died, Damon got moody and temperamental. I should probably mention that it was around that time that Stefan and I established the friendly relationship we have now. When I was six and Stefan was five, sometimes he'd want me to read with him in the library. After we would finish, Damon would grill me mercilessly, asking why I never read to _him._

"Because," I would respond, "you can read by yourself, and he can't." Despite the logic of this statement, he was insufferable. He would call me traitor and say "**Selina, dove le vostre lealtà si trovano?**" "Selina, where do your loyalties lie?" It was like I was betraying him by being nice to his brother. It was strange. I would always respond "**Damon, ti amo, ma le mie lealtà è a me ed a nessun altro.**" "Damon, I love you, but my loyalties are to myself and no one else."

James was so different from Damon. Sometimes I feel sad because I never got to say goodbye to him. He died in a war hospital in Germany. Damon can never die at all unless someone stakes him. I wonder, to what reason did any of this happen to me? I must ponder this, and end the entry for tonight.

**Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,**

Selina

brinhild- I thought it would be interesting to write in different languages. Thanks for the review!

incarnated-soul- Is this easier to read? No, she didn't see the hawk shape shift. She was asleep, but she could still feel and hear. Does that make sense? Thanks for all the encouragement, and from the sound of your other comments, you're getting out of the story what I want you to.

Piscean Wisdom- I bet your ideas weren't stupid. I hope this chapter puts another piece in the puzzle. Thanks for the review!

tyiagirl- Thanks! Hope you like this chapter too!


	11. Una lettera ai miei bambini

See first chapter

A/n- This chapter is the result of listening to Celine Dion for _way_ too long. Sorry in advance if it makes anyone cry.

March 5, 1994

**Caro **diary,

You've probably wondered why it seems I speak so cruelly of the man I love. It isn't because he dropped out of the University, or even because of what happened with Katherine (I hold her responsible for all of that.) It's because of our children. It might not seem like either Damon or myself were the type to have a family, but then I must remind you we were married happily for four years before all the unpleasantness occurred.

Today would have been our son's 505th birthday, but that would be only if he was cursed with vampirism, a fate which I would not wish on anyone, especially not my only son.

His name was **Dante Giovanni Evan Angelo Salvatore. **And much like Damon's mother loved him so, I loved my boy. I had him when I was fifteen, and the day he was born was the happiest day of my life. I still remember the look on Damon's face after he first saw him. He looked so happy, like we had been greatly gifted. And we had.

**Gianni **was a sweet boy, thankfully gifted with Stefan's and Elena's temperament, rather then Damon's or mine. In the three years I knew him, his hunger for knowledge was a delight. He'd want me to read to him nightly, and before I knew it, he had inherited my genius. I often felt sorry for my husband, having to live with _two_ geniuses.

But the real shock came right before stormy times. At the age of eighteen, a few months before my turning, and about nine months after **Gianni's** third birthday, I gave birth to our second child, a girl Damon proudly named **Andria Mia Gianina Fiorenza.**

I was a little worried about how Gianni would receive his new little sister, but Damon told me that worry was unnecessary. We put **Gianni **in **Mia's **room so that they could get to know each other. I held him over her cradle so that he could see her. He looked at her, then turned his face towards mine, and said to me, "Mama, **la mia sorella è bella.**" My sister is beautiful.

I was stunned. I turned to look at Damon, and he just looked at me in an I-told-you-so sort of way. Later, that was actually what he did say. That night, we were alone, and I asked him, "How did you know **Gianni** would accept **Mia **so easily?"

He looked at me, laughed slightly, and said "Bella, Salvatore men do not fear women. We love them, hate them, or find them difficult to live with, but we do not fear them or feel threatened by them."

I could only roll my eyes. Sadly though, he spoke the truth. I sometimes wish I would've been able to live my life, if only for my children. I wonder if Damon remembers any of it. Probably not. He was probably too busy making eyes at my cousin to care about his own children. It makes me ill, and very sad.

I think I shall have to cry myself to sleep again tonight**. Buon compleanno, Gianni. **Happy birthday, Gianni. **Ti amo, Mia.** I love you, Mia.

Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,

Mama

Anglaia Di Willow- Thank you, and thanks for the review!

incarnated-soul- I'm glad Selina didn't tell James she was a vampire. Thanks for the review.

Angel- Thanks! Hope this wasn't too sad! Hope you keep liking the story.

Piscean Wisdom- I translate with the translator on but I want to take Italian in college. Thanks for the review, and hope you like the update.

Tyiagirl- I love showing Damon's past with Selina. Thanks for the review, and I hope you like the update!


	12. Una Conversazione Di Sera

See first chapter.

March 6, 1994

**Caro **diary,

Last night, **un miracolo è accaduto. ** A miracle happened. After so many years of despair, I finally believe my life is coming back together.

I did cry myself to sleep last night. It's been a long time since I've cried where anyone could hear me. I know that seems like kind of a strange sentence to put in a diary entry about the _good_ things going on in my life, but it is relevant, I promise.

Anyway, I was crying myself to sleep last night, _and Damon heard me._ He went to so much to get out of bed, leave his room, and check on me, like he had so many years ago.

I was sniffling like crazy, and soaking my pillow with tears when all of a sudden, I heard his voice.

"**Bella, siete tutto il di destra?"** Bella, are you all right? I pushed myself up from my blankets, and ceased weeping, although leftover tears still lay on my cheeks.

I made out his form, and sat up. **"Damon, perchè siete qui?"** I asked him. I wanted to know why he was in my room late at night. Because guys who get mad at their wives and tell them to go to hell don't just come back suddenly.

He walked over to the wall by my door, and flicked on the light switch. Stefan had gotten both Damon and myself rooms at his boardinghouse. It wasn't as fine a place as I was accustomed to, but that's why I liked it. It was homey.

With the lights on, I could finally get a good look at his face. All of my life, I've been able to read his eyes and know his thoughts, and what I saw in his eyes made me want to cry from happiness.

He was looking at me like he had during our good days as man and wife. He came over and sat beside me on my bed, taking my hands in his.

He said quietly, **"Li ho sentiti gridare e sono stato preoccupato per voi."** I heard you crying, and I was worried about you. "**Bella, che cosa state pensando?**" Bella, what are you thinking?"

I laid my head on his shoulder. Then, I told him that it was all right for us to speak English, because I was no longer in major distress. Then, I told him the truth.

"I was thinking of our children, **Amante**."

He nodded, and hugged me tight. "It was Gianni's birthday yesterday, wasn't it?"

I nodded into his chest. "Yes, it was. I loved him so much. I wish I could have seen him grow up."

Damon laughed a little. "Yes, Bella, I know. But maybe it was good we died before he grew up. I was talking to Bonnie yesterday, and ever since I killed that history teacher of hers in self-defense, she's really been interested in the subject."

I looked up at him. "Yeah? So what?" my sister had introduced me to her friends soon after we met. I liked all of them, but I found her friend Bonnie particularly interesting.

"Well, she told me that she was in the library reading, and she found some information on our children."

I gasped. "Really? Tell!"

He sighed in an exaggerated way. "You might not love Gianni so much after I tell you how he married. when he was sixteen, he married a German baroness named Leyna."

I stared. "Are you kidding me? MY son married a _German?"_

He nodded. "Well it is partially your fault. You did tell Johan to raise him, and your brother, you must admit **Bambi**, is very German."

I was mad. "If I could get my hands on him, I'd-"

"Do you want to hear about Mia?"

I sighed, stopping my rant. "All right. Tell me."

"At fifteen, Mia married the king of Italy. When he died, she ruled the country all by herself. Soon after his death, the king of Germany sent his messengers to ask for her hand in marriage."

"And what did she say?"

"She told him to go to hell, basically."

I cheered. "That's my daughter!"

"Then, he declared war on her, and they fought each other for many years."

I looked at Damon expectantly. "Who won?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "Think about it, Bella. Mia's your daughter too. Who do you think won?"

"My daughter kicked German ass in a war! Yay!"

"But Mia does have one little snafu that you might not like."

I frowned. "Yeah? What's that?"

He lowered his eyes, trying to hide a smug grin. "She had to drop out of the University for all of this to happen. It seems both of our children inherited your aptitude for scholarship.

I shrugged. "Oh well. You have to take the good with the bad."

"Are you feeling better?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but I still can't sleep. Do you think that we could go into the bathroom, and let the bath faucet run awhile?"

"All right, if it will help you sleep."

And so we went. But before we entered the bathroom, Damon said, "You didn't have any children with your other husband, did you?"

I shook my head. "No, because I didn't want to leave anymore behind."

And it seemed to me that after he left the bathroom, and my bedroom, I slept better then I had in months, my only dreams being about a strong, graceful falcon.

**Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,**

Selina

Angel- Selina _is _brave. Plus, in the Renaissance, that's when people married. Can you believe that? Thanks for reviewing!

tyiagirl- Thanks bunches! Hope you like this too!

Piscean Wisdom- Do you like the answer to your question? Thanks for the inspiration for this chapter!

incarnated-soul- I thought the idea of Damon and Selina having kids would surprise some people. Both of their kids are dead, but they did lead good lives! Thanks for reviewing!


	13. Una Sorpresa Sfavorevole

See first chapter

March 13, 1994

**Caro**, diary

Now, it seems like Damon's and my relationship is getting better by the day. Every night we talk about things, like what made our relationship crumble. There are a lot of things that we had kept from each other, and I suppose that if we would have gotten it all out of our systems, then none of this would have happened.

Bonnie suggested marriage counseling, but then I asked her what we would say were we to go to one.

"Hey, we've been married for over five-hundred years, we had two children, but we never got to see them grow up because a few weeks after our youngest child was born, my crazy grandmother kidnapped me, and forced me to write a note to my husband who she didn't like saying that I hated him, and never wanted to see him again, so that he would abandon me, and she could marry me off to the sweet, but very overbearing man that _she_ wanted to see me married to?"

I did write the note, but only because she locked me in a room without food, or weaponry for two weeks, along with a very large man who had a whip, and knew how to use it.

Then, it would be Damon's turn to chime in.

"After I got the note, since I wasn't aware that it was all fake and that she was actually in trouble, I thought that our two children would grow up without a mother figure. Since I lost my Mama when I was eight, I knew how it felt, and didn't want my children to have that misery, so I made it my duty to find them a mother figure.

"The first woman I saw after my wife left was her cousin Katherine, who she didn't like very much. But soon after we began our relationship, I found out that she was a vampire. So, for the sake of our children, I let her turn me into a vampire and-"

Here I would break in:

"**Avete desiderato Katherine essere un sostituto me! Come potreste? Damon, quello deve essere il dumbestidea che mi sono sentito mai!"**

I would basically tell him how stupid it was to try and substitute Katherine for me, while secretly admiring Damon's desire to give his children a mother figure.

Then, he would continue:

"And it was only after that that I found Selina back home. Because she was now back, I turned her into a vampire, letting her brother raise our children. They grew up thinking that we died of some disease, or something like that."

Then, our therapist would look at us patronizingly while secretly calling the closest institution.

So we ignored that idea, and settled on talking to each other at night. It's been working really well.

Sadly though, now that I've dealt with one problem, another has to show up.

Damon and I were out with Stefan and Elena and her friends earlier today when Katherine decided to grace us with her presence. I wish she would have just stayed in Germany after I convinced her to make the dogs stopattacking the people of Fell's Church, but _no_, she has to come back.

And, she has to bring the skeletons in my very fashionable closet with her. She chatted with us for a bit while I tried to hold my tongue. Then, she motioned for a guy who she introduced as her boyfriend to introduce himself.

He did, and I shrunk back, hoping he wouldn't see me. Then, Elena asked how they had met.

Katherine told her. "We met in a war hospital in Germany during World War I. I was his nurse and he was dying."

He nodded. "She was my angel. She changed me because she didn't want me to be lonely. I had a wife before the war, but I was afraid that she would be too afraid of my vampire self to keep our relationship going."

Then, he finally noticed me in the shadows. Well, not all the way.

"Katherine, who's that?"

She laughed softly. "That's my cousin Selina."

Trying to keep my expression neutral, I stepped into his vision. I saw his eyes widen. Then, for the first time in 77 years, I my second husband and I spoke.

"Maria? Is that you? I've been watching you, trying to figure it out."

I nodded. "Yes, James. It's me."

More news on damage control tomorrow.

**Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora**,

Selina

Anglaia Di Willow- Thanks! Hope you like this chapter.

incarnated-soul- yeah, it is good she knows all that. But I wonder what will happen to her and Damon now? Thanks bunches for reviewing!

tyiagirl- Thanks, hope you like this chapter too!

Angel- Let's hope their fragile, soap-opera-like relationship can weather this storm. I'm glad you liked Mia. Thanks bunches for reviewing!


	14. Di fronte Al Passato

See first chapter

March 14, 1994

**Caro** diary,

I cannot describe what I felt after seeing James again. Relief, shock, anger, and still more. But I couldn't say anything to him. Instead, I stalked towards Katherine, and pushed her hard against the wall of my bedroom. It was so satisfying to hear various bones in her body rattle and shake. Her eyes became large as saucers, and all the color drained from her face. I wanted to kill her, but first, she had to hear me talk.

"**Maledizione del dio esso, voi inseguite, perchè non potete giusto ottenere il vostro proprio marito maledetto!**" I screamed. (Or for you speakers of English: God damn it, you bitch, why can't you find your own damn husband!)

Then, I remembered that she didn't speak Italian. More angry then before, I shook her incredibly hard, and said it again in German, the first German I'd spoken in awhile.

"**Gottfluch es, Sie, warum können nicht verfolgen Sie gerecht Ihren eigenen verfluchten Ehemann erhalten!"**

She seemed to get the message, and quavered under my grip, her blue lips gabbling soundless pleas for me to release her. Her eyes were watering too. I dropped her, and she ran quickly to James's side, hiding behind his back. I turned to face everyone else in the room. They were all staring at me.

I walked towards Damon, and looked up at him.

"Get me a drink. Some **Genazzano **or **Trasimeno** if we've got any around."

Normally, he would have given me a very stern lecture about my drinking habits, and reminded me about how when we were younger, I drank as much as he did, and was worse when I was hung over, but I knew that now, he would leave and get me what I wanted. I can be dangerous if mistreated while angry.

When I was younger, Damon taught me the ways of the sword. His talents were known all around Florence. He taught me what he knew, and eventually, I became so good, I could amputate all four limbs and decapitate the head in 30 seconds or less.

So he left to get me my drink, and came back with a shot glass full to the top. I took it from him, and downed it in seconds. Then, I stood up and went after Katherine again.

"**Becauase von Ihnen, verlor ich alles. Meine Familie, meine Freunde, meine Zicklein und die Liebe meines Lebens. Und Sie interessierten nie sich. Papa pflegte, zu erklären mir, daß Geschichten über Großmutter und ihn sagten, daß, als sie jünger war, sie wie Sie gerecht war.** **Wir sind Vetter und Familie Mitglieder tun nicht das miteinander."**

I was beginning to get really worked up. I had Katherine by her hair, and I could feel both Stefan and Damon trying to hold me back. But Katherine would pay for all that she had done to me, for everything that she had cost me in the last five hundred years. I would make sure of that.

I tore out of Stefan and Damon's astonished grips. Katherine's hair was long, and it dragged along the carpet as I ran, fury propelling me, to Damon's bedroom. There was an oak tree right outside his window.

When we arrived, I threw Katherine down on the floor. She was crying and screaming with all her might. Hail pelted the windows, and lightning and thunder permeated the ink-black sky outside. I found some rope and tied Katherine to the bed so she couldn't get away while I climbed outside to break a branch off the tree.

When I reentered the room, I was soaking wet. I broke the top off the branch so it was splintered, and then I untied my cousin and dragged her back to my room.

By that time, everyone was looking. As I prepared to plunge the splintered branch into Katherine's little black heart, she got up, and with a cry, ran to James's side.

"James, she's crazy. Please don't let her kill me. You love me, don't you?" she let her eyes get really big, one of her biggest tricks. But, to my surprise, James didn't have any of it. Instead, he looked at her stony-faced.

"You lied to me." He said softly, quietly, dangerously. "You didn't tell me anything about her being your cousin, or about her being a vampire. You didn't even tell me that you knew her. You've done enough to her in her life. I will not allow her to continue suffering at your hands. You can go see the devil for all I care." He turned away from her.

Then, she looked at me with a sickeningly sly, almost evil expression.

"You care a lot about your family, don't you, James?"

He turned around. "Yes."

"Well, do you remember the story about your ancestor Wilhelm and how he got jilted by his fiancée?"

"Yes Katherine. That's the story most commonly told. My older relatives always say that if they could've gotten their hands on the girl who did it, they would make her miserable until the day she died."

"Well," she grinned, letting out an evil little giggle. "Selina was that girl James. Selina jilted your ancestor for no reason other then the fact that she hated him."

That was it. I felt my control and my sanity leave my body. At that point, alcohol mixed with adrenaline, and I charged at Katherine, my oak sword held out in front of me as if I were in a joust. The force of it threw Katherine and myself down to the floor, and I heard her scream mightily as the branch penetrated her body. Pretty soon, all that was left of my cousin was a pile of dust.

Feeling emotionally and physically drained, I flopped onto the bed. James was looking at me, and Damon was too.

James spoke first. "Did you really do that? Since it's you, I can understand. You aren't like other girls, and from all the descriptions of Wilhelm, I can see why you left him."

I nodded. "Thanks. It wasn't that I didn't like Wilhelm, but our marriage was something that my grandmother wanted more then I did. Plus, he treated me like I was five.

"There was this one time when I was eleven, and he was fifteen, and he caught me practicing with one of his swords. Even though I knew how to use it, he took it away from me, and said "**Am liebsten, ist das nicht ein Spielzeug. Ich werde dieses weg setzen, bevor Sie sich verletzen. Ich möchte nicht Sie mit ihm wieder sehen.**"

Damon looked at me. "What does that mean, Bella?"

"It means 'Dearest that's not a toy. I'm going to put it away so you don't hurt yourself, and I don't want to see you with it again.'"

Both my husbands knew me well and laughed hysterically at this.

"Was he kidding?" Damon asked me between gasps. "Did he see any marks on you when he came in?"

I shook my head. "No. He didn't even notice that I had proper form. I guess he thought all girls were incapable of sword fighting."

James finally got enough air for a decent breath. "Well, I guess he didn't know you very well then."

I motioned for Damon to sit next to me on the bed, and he sat. I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Listen, Selina," James was looking seriously at me now. "Katherine and I didn't come here for a fight. We brought a few friends with us to show them around the city. I'll be right back."

James left, leaving all of us in the room to stare at each other. Stefan looked at me keenly, his deep green eyes penetrating into my soul.

"Selina, what happened with Katherine? Why did you stake her?"

"Stefan," I said slowly, "when I was a little girl, Grossmutter told me that everyone has demons in them, and that at one point or another in your life, your demons are going to assert themselves. I think mine did tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, all my life, I've had the sheer hatred of Grossmutter. And Katherine too, because she was like a younger version. That hatred made me rebellious, disobedient, and angry. It's kind of like what Honoria told you guys about the Other Power: 'no one is safe until the thing that controls the creatures is destroyed.' Basically, until I got rid of both Katherine and Grossmutter, I wouldn't be all right. But now, since they're both gone, I am."

Just then, James came back with his friends. "Selina, everyone, these two people are Andria and Dante DeMarco. They're from Manhatten. Dante is transferring to Duke, and Andria is thinking about going there as well after she graduates."

Then he stepped aside, and I got a good look at the pair. They looked familiar to me. Dante was handsome. Tall, with straight black hair, high cheekbones, and green eyes, he was wearing jeans with holes in the knees, sleek black boots, and a dark blue muscle shirt.

Andria was small. She too had black hair, but hers was curly, framing a sweet face with wide blue eyes. She was dressed neater then her brother in a knee-length pink skirt, a white lace top, and white stiletto heels.

When they looked at Damon and me, I expected polite, neutral expressions. Not the looks of shock and surprise that they wore as they both reached out to shake our hands.

James grinned at all of us. "Well, now that those two are all settled, I think I'll go."

I motioned to Damon. "You're okay with all of this?"

He looked at me. "Selina, in the two and a half years we were married, you acted like there was a part of you that was missing. And I know that Damon was that part. You weren't truly yourself when we were married, and I want you to be happy. Besides, those who come first should stay first."

And before I could reply, he jumped out the window and disappeared into the night.

Life now starts anew, I guess.

Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,

Selina

Medusa Descouedres- Thanks so much for the compliments. After I read "Belladonna," it kind of inspired me to let Selina show a little bit of attitude. Hope you like this chapter!

incarnated-soul- I'm glad I surprised you. I had it planned from the beginning. I was dropping hints with the owl and the falcon in earlier chapters. Thanks for the review!

Angel- Thanks! Hope you like this chapter!


	15. Una Chiamata Di Mezzanotte

Only plot mine

March 15, 1994

**Caro **diary,

I had another talk with Damon last night. He spoke in a way that I had never heard him speak before in all my years of knowing him.

As James had jumped out the window, Damon had looked out after him. Then, he had taken my hand and led me to my room, being careful to spread Katherine's ashes around the carpet.

When we got to my room, he sat me down on my bed and asked me "Bella, was that your other husband?"

I nodded. "Yes, that was him."

"You're a strange woman, **Bambi**. Even though you could have so much better, you always come back to me."

I looked up at him. "And what is that supposed to mean? Are you trying to convince me that you're not good enough for me?"

He shook his head. "No, I just think that you deserve someone with better personal habits. A beautiful, athletic genius like yourself should have more then just a man who swears and drinks all the time."

"Listen **miseria di conteggio**, do you love me, or not?"

He started. "Of course I do."

"Then why are you trying to push me away? I admit there are some things you do that bug me, but no one is perfect. Besides, I had a talk with Stefan awhile back, and he told me why you really dropped out of the University."

He nodded. "I missed you. There was no one around to motivate me to study. Father could try, but it just wasn't the same."

Just then, we heard a knock on our door. I told whoever was on the other side to come in, and was surprised to see both Andria and Dante come into the room.

Andria spoke in a quiet tone. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but Dante is having trouble sleeping, and having company at night usually helps. It seems like you two are the only ones awake."

"That's all right," I assured her. "What's the matter with him?"

She blinked. "He's having nightmares."

Just then, Dante cleared his throat. "Don't be overly dramatic Andria. They aren't nightmares, just really vivid dreams."

Andria narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh, yeah? Then how come you wake up screaming and sweating from most of them? Uncle John said he would go crazy if he had to listen to you scream another night!"

"Who?" I asked her.

"Oh, our uncle John. He raised us. Our parents died when we were little. Well, actually when Dante was little and I was just a baby."

I put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "That's all right. I didn't really know them."

I turned my mind and body over to Dante. "What were you dreaming about?"

Instead of looking at me, Dante looked at Andria.

"She was hurting tonight, Annie. Johan brought her in, and she was screaming and crying. I ran into her room. Everyone wanted to hold me back so I wouldn't see what had happened to her. But I looked anyway. She was wearing a red dress with rents and vicious tears all over it. What I could see of her body was covered in angry red slashes, as if she had been whipped over and over again. Most of her wounds were still bleeding. At of her, I fell to my knees, hitting my little fists against the hard stone floor. Then, Johan came to take me away. I was screaming as loud as she was by then. "Mama, Mama!" over and over again. But I never saw her again after that."

Andria said quietly, "how do you know that?"

Dante shook his head. "I don't know. But something tells me it's true."

Clutching Damon's arm, I tried hard not to cry. I remember that day too, as well as any of the others in my life.

Johan had just saved me from **Grossmutter's **prison and brought me back home. The ride itself had been horrible. The man with the whip had done a very thorough job, and anywhere I was touched burned me like an everlasting fire. As I was brought into my room and laid on my bed, Gianni came running into my room. His eyes were still red from crying over the loss of his father and now he had to see me like this.

It broke my heart to watch him suffer so, but I truly had no strength to move. Gianni was the only family member besides Johan to see me that night. Elena had been back in Germany at the time.

I wondered why Dante was having dreams of my son's past. I looked at Andria.

"How long has your brother been having these dreams?"

"All his life. I've had some too, but I don't see the same people in mine. I see a cute blonde girl, a tall, brown-eyed, sandy-haired guy, and a small, blue-eyed brunette."

I thought about that for a moment. Johan, Katherine, and Johan's wife Caroline. It had to be them.

It would make sense that Mia would not dream about me or Damon as we had not been alive in her memory. But she would certainly remember Johan and Caroline, her surrogate parents, both of whom I was very fond.

Andria spoke again. "As long as we've had them, Dante and I have shared our dreams with each other. Our dreams seem like they come from the same time period, but Dante has several people in his dreams that I don't. We've discussed the possibility of our dream people being siblings, but we don't know."

I looked at her. "Have you told anyone else about this?"

She nodded. "We tried to tell Uncle John about it, but he just got us appointments with a psychologist. Then, we told our psychologist and she thinks-"

"And she thinks we're reincarnations of the people in our dreams. She thinks we're regressing." Dante interrupted.

Just then, the clock on the downstairs landing struck one a.m. we'd talked all the hour of midnight.

I looked at the pair. "The two of you should probably get some sleep. You've got a lot of sightseeing to do later."

They both rose and nodded, walking to and crowding each other out the door.

At the sound of the door's slam, I sighed, looking at Damon. He had crawled underneath his covers and was now looking at me hopefully.

"Bella, do you want to spend the night? Now that our children could very well be back, I think it's time that we address some of your intimacy issues."

I hit him with a pillow. "Just because I haven't slept with you in over five hundred years does not mean I have intimacy issues. I didn't sleep with James either, as you may recall. Even though I love you much more then him, I will sleep with you when _I_ feel like it. Now, I am going to _my_ room and going to sleep. **Sogni belli al negato.**" Sweet dreams to the denied.

As I walked down the hall to my room, I couldn't help but marvel over the wonder of miracles. All of my existence, I had carried with me the grief of the loss of my children. Now, if I was right, my greatest wish had come true, and my children had come home.

HannahluvsB2D- Just how much of the story did you actually read? Thanks for the review!

incarnated-soul- I'm glad I entertained you, and I hope this chapter helps answer some of your questions. Thanks for reviewing!

Medusa Descouedres- That's okay if you figured it out ahead of time. It means you paid attention to the story. Thanks for reviewing!

tyiagirl- Thanks! I hope you like this chapter too!

A/n- How long should I wait before Selina tells Dante and Andria who they are? Suggestions for how that scene will play out? Thanks!

Autumn


	16. Trucchi, verità e fare amore

April 2, 1994

**Caro **diary,

God damn it, I cannot believe what has happened! I knew it was only a matter of time before Damon would remember the one and only way to get me into bed with him, and now, apparently, it seems that time has come. I guess though, in a way, I'm proud of him for finally remembering.

I came home from the gym yesterday after my appointment with my personal trainer to find the boardinghouse seemingly empty. I felt like I should shower off, so I went to my bathroom, undressed, and turned the water on. I stood there for a half an hour or so letting the steam vapors rise around me, and letting the warm water purify my body.

Then, I decided that that was probably enough. I turned off the water, flinching slightly at the squeak of the faucet, and pushed the shower curtain aside, stepping out slowly as my eyes scanned the room for a towel.

I found a large, fluffy white one in a rack beside the sink, and wrapped it around me. Then, I went back to my room, and was not just a little surprised to see Damon standing in front of my dresser. Despite the fact that he's seen everything that I've got, I couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious.

"Would you get out, I need to get dressed!"

That made him smile. "Why should I get out? We're married, you've been in bed with me. I can look if I want to. Besides, I only came up here to ask you if you would be interested in renewing your fencing lessons. It's not like I knew you were in the shower."

I sighed. "All right, wait for me a few minutes, and then, I'll be right down.

He grinned a beautiful, mischievous, mysterious grin, and I felt a sudden urge to just whip off the towel right then and there, but I kept it in check.

"All right Bella, I'll see you in a few minutes." He turned on his heel, and left, closing the door softly behind him.

I sighed to myself, and went to my closet. I took off the towel, and folded it, putting it at the foot of my bed. Then, I opened my closet door, and the real shock came. I found that all my clothes were missing. The only thing that _was _in my closet was a lacy black silk negligee and a matching robe.

Screaming in anger, I ripped it off the hanger and put it on. Stomping to my bedroom door, I opened it. Then, I decided to scream some more, hoping Damon would hear me.

"**Damon Salvatore, ottenete il vostro asino di maledizione del dio in su qui ora e mi dite che cosa l'inferno ha accaduto a tutti i miei vestiti!**"

I could hear him laughing even from upstairs. He wasn't scared of me. He walked up with a leisurely pace, and grinned from ear to ear at the sight of me.

"What the hell is this, and where are my clothes?" I picked up a handful of the robe and thrust it at him.

He just kept on grinning. "That's for me to know, and you to find out, isn't it? Besides, I like you in black."

I narrowed my eyes. "I'll bet you do."

"If you come downstairs, I'll give you the opportunity to possibly disembowel or decapitate me."

"It would be my pleasure." I was so angry, that was all I could think about, and it was a good thought.

When we arrived downstairs, I found everything set up, including another shot glass full of wine for me. This was good. It wasn't enough to get me drunk, it was just enough to loosen my muscles up a bit.

I downed it, then loosened up my shoulders. Damon took his place across from me and grabbed his sword. Then, he gracefully threw me mine.

Despite inconvenience of my clothing, I will not hesitate to say that I fought pretty skillfully.

"By the way," I asked Damon as he and I sparred, "where is everyone?"

I cut to his left hip, and he immediately parried with his own sword.

"They're gone. I told them we needed some time alone. And by the way, I haven't been completely honest with you. When I was at the University, I had some one night stands."

That woke me up. "Oh, really? Anyone I knew?" I'd had enough of swords. They were too clunky. I threw mine down, and went after my husband. He dropped his sword immediately.

"Oh, not really. Fiorenza Capriello, Giacinta Mirella, Bianca Calicini-"

That made me cold. "You slept with Bianca Calicini while you were married to me?" my arm felt charged with angry energy. Before I could stop myself, I punched him in the nose, hard. It began to bleed.

Bianca Calicini had been my Italian enemy. She had always tried to get guys I wanted for myself. She was completely easy when it came to guys.

He began to tell me other things too, and I kept on hitting him. It didn't seem to bother him though. Finally, he left, and got me another shot glass of wine and I drank it.

When I went to punch the next time, he grabbed me in an embrace. Then, he whispered in my ear, "Bella, you're getting a little too big for your britches."

I don't know what made me say the next thing I said. Maybe his embrace felt good, maybe I was desperate, or maybe, I admitted to myself, I just needed sex.

"Why don't you take them off then?" he carried me upstairs, to his bedroom. He had silk sheets that he'd bought last time we were in Europe. He laid me down, and went to turn off the lights. Pretty soon, I felt his weight join mine in the bed.

That night, all night, we made love in the dark for the first time in five hundred years.

**fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora**,

Selina

Medusa Descouedres- Do you think Selina's so horrible now? Thanks for reviewing!

tyiagirl- Thanks! Hope you like this chapter too!

incarnated-soul- I don't know if James will come back yet. Dante and Andria will return next chapter. Thanks for reviewing!


	17. Più vicino a verità

April 4, 1994

Caro diary,

Feeling much calmer today, although a little anger at Damon's trick still survives. I had another talk with Dante and Andria around lunchtime. Andria told me that last night had been particularly bad for him. He had a dream of a funeral, and told her how sad he had felt to see the woman in his dreams be gone forever. He had felt a deep love for her, and had wished so for her to come back.

Although I seldom cry, I have to admit that Andria's words brought tears to my eyes. I almost told her to go get her brother then and there so I could tell them both everything, but I restrained myself, thinking that Damon might want to be present for the news, because after all, they were his kids too.

Later, I felt tired, so I decided to take a little nap. It had been my first nap in years of course, but the transition to dreaming wasn't exactly smooth. I tossed and I turned until my eyes closed and I could no longer see the faded red paint on my bedroom walls. Instead, I saw a group of people gathered around a body, and I could hear people speaking in quiet, respectful tones. The priest had just stepped down to allow people to say goodbye to the dead woman laid out in state for all to see.

I recognized the woman. She was me. It was my funeral I was seeing.

"…**Ed ora diciamo arrivederci come questa anima affezionata parte per cielo.**" And now let us say goodbye as this cherished soul departs for heaven.

I could see Gianni standing by Johan and Caroline. He was sobbing heavily, and Mia, who was being held by my brother, cried also.

Gianni stepped away from the crowd, and towards my body. When he saw that no one was looking, he brushed my hair away from my face and kissed my cheek. A tear fell from his eyes onto my dress.

He took a hold of my hand and whispered to me.

"**Perchè, Mama? Sig.na il papa che conosco ed ora che siete andati, li mancherò. Sia nella pace eterna nel cielo e prometto di essere buono in modo che quando è la mia girata da venire, li veda ancora.**"

He was saying goodbye, telling me that he would be good so that he would see me in heaven.

Then, he went over to Johan and took a hold of Mia. Sobbing, she reached for Caroline.

"Mama!" She screamed. It was one of the few words she knew.

Gianni shook his head and brought her over to look at my body. He lifted her up so that she could get a good view. After a few minutes, he brought her down again and spoke to her in a calm and serious tone.

"**Mia, questo è mama. Quella è zia Caroline. Sto andando dirvi interamente circa che cosa era come perché li desidero conoscerli come vostro mama e non passare con vita pensante che la zia Caroline e lo zio Johann siano i nostri genitori perché non è allineare.**"

He actually took time to tell Mia the difference between me and Caroline just as I am sure he told her the difference between me and Katherine. He wanted to make sure Mia knew about us, and that she would love us as much as he had.

After Damon and I split up, I sometimes came back at night to watch Gianni and Mia while they were sleeping. They never knew I was there of course, but it helped ease my mind, and take away some of the guilt.

All of a sudden, everything shattered, and I was aware that my room was full of people. Damon, Dante, and Andria were standing at my bedside staring at me.

"Bella, are you all right?"

At the sound of the name, Dante's eyes widened.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes. "Yes, Damon, I'm fine, I just had a little bad dream, that's all. I'm not sure Dante is though."

Damon turned around and gave Dante an appraising glance while I looked at Mia.

"Is he all right? What's the matter with him?"

She looked troubled. "The man in his dreams calls the woman Bella. And they look a lot like you two. But that's impossible, isn't it?"

Just then, Damon looked at the clock on my wall. "If you want to make it to a doctor's on time, we better leave soon."

I perked up. "Where are you guys going?"

"We're going to see if we can find a new psychologist around here."

Dante finally seemed to have snapped out of his reverie, and now was standing by the door like he wanted to leave as soon as possible.

"Can I come?"

He looked indifferent. "Sure, if you want to. I don't care."

Damon cleared his throat. "Selina, if you're coming, we're going to have to take both your car and my car."

I got up off my bed and followed him out my door.

"What do you mean 'we should take both your car and my car'? Four people can fit into a Ferrari."

"I know. But I think you and Dante need to do some talking. The dream he had last night was about your funeral."

"But what am I supposed to say? 'Hey, you were my son in a past life, and now that you're reincarnated and I'm a vampire, we can go out for coffee and have a happy life together?' I hate to break it to you **amante, **but that just won't fly."

"Bambi, just trust me, all right? Now, hurry up. Dante's waiting for you in your car."

What happened in the car will be tomorrow.

**Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora**,

Selina

**incarnated-soul- I'm glad you liked last chapter. I thought that that was the way Damon would do things. Hope you like this chapter too!**

**Bella Salvatore- Great penname! Yay! Anyways, I know that this chapter isn't as exciting as last chapter, but I'm kind of glad Damon's starting to have a bit more control in he and Selina's relationship. Hope you like this chapter, and thanks for reviewing. How's Marie II coming along?**

**tyiagirl- yeah, poor guy. But you gotta admit, he kinda deserved it! Hope you like this chapter and thanks for reviewing!**


	18. Una Regressione Improvvisa

Only Selina and other OCs are mine.

April 5, 1994

**Caro **diary,

Well, as the Americans say, I think the bomb has finally been dropped. But let me explain.

When I got out to the Lamborghini yesterday, Dante was there just like Damon had said he would be. He was in the backseat looking kind of sulky and curled up in a ball. I tapped lightly on his window, and he sprang up quickly, starting. Then, I walked to the driver's side, and got behind the wheel.

I love driving. It's sort of a power issue with me. I've even driven Stefan's car a few times, although Porsches are German cars. I don't want to end up a prejudiced xenophobe like Grossmutter was.

Anyway, I'm letting myself get off topic. When I got in the car, I saw Dante looking at me out of the corner of my eye. It seemed like he wanted to say something. We drove along, and it seemed like he was getting tenser and tenser. I thought to myself, **per il ragazzo di causa del dio, ad esempio che cosa desiderate dire già! **Finally, I muttered it under my breath. That got his attention.

"What did you say?" his voice sounded curious, and it made my answer come out more calm then tense.

"If there's something you want to say, go ahead and say it. I can tell there's something on your mind.

He grinned. "Well, actually there is. Can I drive? This is a sweet ride."

When he said that, it almost made me rear-end the car ahead of us. At the next stoplight, I turned and looked him in the eye.

"Look, this car is my baby. No one except a select few can drive it besides me. Now come on, what's really bothering you?"

He sighed. "It's the stupid dreams again. Ever since I came here, they've been more frequent and more intense then they ever were before. And it's not just dreams. My senior year of high school, we went on a summer trip to Florence, and we toured this one house, I think the tour guide called it **Il Palazzo Del Mare**. Anyway, it seemed like I had some connection to it or something. We went into one room, it had belonged to the little boy of the house, and something in my brain told me to push aside the velvet ropes that prevent the tourists from touching the stuff in the rooms and go in and get myself reacquainted with my stuff. I resisted, but that's really weird, huh? You seem quiet all of a sudden. What's wrong?"

Well, what he felt would seem weird to him, but it seemed perfectly fantastic to me. **Il Palazzo Del Mare** was our summer house in Florence. Damon's, mine, and Gianni's. It would have been Mia's too, but she was born in winter.

"Did you find it strange that the something that told you to break down the ropes was telling you to get reacquainted with children's toys?" I asked him.

He nodded. "Yeah, a little bit. And the real kicker was that before we started the tour, we saw a painting of the people who owned the house, and they look exactly like the people in my dreams."

And what do those people in your dreams look like?"

"They look like you and Damon."

Just then, my phone rang. It was Damon saying that he and Andria had found a place. He gave me the address, and I hung up and began driving in that direction.

"What were you saying?"

"Oh, yeah. The people in my dreams, the people who are my _parents_ in my dreams, look exactly like you and Damon. Same names and everything. In order for that to be true, you'd have to be reincarnated too, or be vampires or something."

Another stoplight. "Dante, do you believe in vampires?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I believe in vampires. I know that's what Katherine and James were."

"So if I told you I was a vampire, you would believe me."

"Yeah."

"Okay, well, you're right. Damon and I are vampires."

He been looking down at his lap before, but now, he looked up at me, and I saw pure fury and fire in his eyes, when it had not been there before.

"**Li odio! Come potreste fare questo a me? A Mia? Li amavo e lo avete abbandonato appena. Nonlo neghi."**

I gasped, praying for another stoplight, or for the magical appearance of the shrink's office. Dante had given in to his former self. It seems that since I had divulged to him Damon's and my true fate, he could continue being Gianni to me.

I tested him, the fury in my voice matching his.

"**Potete odiarli, ma avete sposato la donna che la mia nonna ha selezionato per voi contro i miei desideri, voi non?**"

I had him there. He had married the woman Grossmtter had picked out for him against my wishes. Unfortunately, he still had plenty of steam left.

"**Ed eravate là per arrestarli? Inoltre, lo zio Johan ha detto che sarebbe una buona** **programma. Grossmutter aveva speso il tempo molto gli che dice quanto meraviglioso ero. Non ho desiderato rompere il suo cuore.**"

I couldn't help but snort at that. Break her heart my ass. Anyone who can't handle a break-up needs to spend some time in the real world. Then again, I guess I'm tougher emotionally then most people.

"**Eravate sempre senso troppo sensibile. Perchè non potreste indurirsi su un piccolo?"**

That made him even angrier, further proof that like his **zio** Stefan, he was very sensitive.

"**Non ogni uomo può essere come il papa, mama!"**

When I heard that, it was at a stoplight, and I had to break quickly. Dante hit his head against the back of my seat.

"Dante are you all right?"

He looked sort of groggy and his vision seemed out of focus.

"What happened?" he sounded as sleepy as he looked.

"You don't remember?"

"No. you told me that you and Damon were vampires, and then, I think I blacked out. Did I say anything?"

I nodded. "Yes, you had a major regression. And I know something now. You truly are our son. Damon's and mine."

He looked at me for a few seconds, and then stared out the window.

"What did I say?"

I sighed again. "You were upset with me for leaving you. I added some bits in so it was more of a conversation. You were speaking fluent Italian too."

"_Really_?"

"The last thing you said before you hit your head was that not every man was like your father, and that's true."

"Do you think we should tell Damon and Andria about this?"

I grinned. "No. let them see it for themselves."

Finally, we arrived at the shrink's office, where Damon and Andria stood waiting by entrance. Dante and I smiled at each other. Before we went in, Damon asked me, "So Bella, what happened with Dante?"

And I just told him, "Be patient, you'll see."

**Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,**

Selina

**Bella Salvatore- Next chapter is here! Hope you like it. Your Forbidden Game story is really good. Thanks for reviewing. And there's chapter three of Species: Lamia up too!**

Tyiagirl- More excitement. Hope you like this chapter, and thanks for reviewing!

"


	19. Nient'altro Dubita di

April 6, 1994

**Caro **diary,

Well, that was certainly the most interesting time I've had in my life. And that's saying something. Anyway, after the Dante, Andria, Damon and I went into the shrink's office, I began to feel a little apprehensive. If Dante had all of his regressions today, and Andria likewise, I couldn't help but wonder how my existence, as well as Damon's and so many others' would change.

When we entered the room, I began to feel a bit nervous and sat myself on a chair near the one where Damon was sitting.

"So, did you and Andria find anything interesting to talk about?" I whispered to him.

"Yes, we did, and Bella, why in hell are you whispering? It's not like we're being spied on."

"Because, I'm not quite ready to say anything out loud yet." I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards me until we were eye to eye. "I think you should know that Dante had a major regression on the way over here."

At that, Damon's eyes widened.

"**State scherzando Bella? Che cosa è accaduto? Ha detto qualche cosa?"**

"Shhhh! Calm down!" his voice had risen in volume dramatically as he'd spoken. "No, I'm not kidding. I told him that you and I were vampires, and then he started freaking out and screaming about how we abandoned him and Mia and stuff like that. In fluent Italian too. It was **molto sconosciuto.**"

Damon nodded. "That would have been strange. Mia wasn't so bad. We mostly talked about her life. She told me some _very _interesting things, some of which might be of interest to you."

"What kind of things?"

"They're secret. She said they'd probably come out in her regressions, so I guess you'll just have to wait." He grinned wickedly at me.

"That is so not fair! I told you what happened with Dante!"

"But you didn't have to. Besides, it's not like you'll never hear them. You'll just have to wait a little while longer."

"Dante and Andria DeMarco, the doctor will see you now."

Before I could respond to that, Dante and Andria were called into the Doctor's office. Damon and I tried to follow but we were stopped.

"Sorry. We don't allow extra people in the room during regressions. It interferes with the procedure." The nurse, a skinny little Katherine look-alike who I could have snapped like a twig in seconds, spoke in a high, chirpy tone that made me want to strangle her. Before I could, however, Damon spoke.

"That's fine. But before the patients go in for their appointments, we have a little something we'd like to share with you. You should probably know that the two of them are somewhat afraid of modern medical techniques and it eases their minds to know that we're here."

The nurse just blinked at him and blew a huge gum bubble.

"I have no idea what you just said, but you know, you're kind of cute."

I could feel my temper begin to flair. I strode over to the nurse and glared at her.

"Listen bubble-brain. We need access to these patients' appointments. Otherwise, the doctor will have a very difficult time getting them to cooperate with anything he says. **Capite?**"

"What?"

I groaned in exasperation. "Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

Finally, after what seemed like a million years, the girl nodded, and led Damon and I into a large room containing a television.

"This is the viewing room. It's for the family members of patients who aren't exactly agreeable to psychological treatment. The doctor will start with Dante and Andria shortly."

Damon nodded. "**Grazie, Signorina.**" But there was no flirtation in his tone.

As the nurse turned on her heel and left, I let out my breath.

"Wow. Little Miss Peroxide-on-the-Brain can speak more then monosyllable words. I'm impressed."

I could feel Damon's grip on my hand tighten painfully.

"Bella can you please be a little more mature? You've been eighteen for the last five hundred years, and I think it's time you grew out of your 'taunting Katherine look-alikes' phase."

"I know." I pouted. "But it's so _hard._ It's like they're asking for it."

All of a sudden, the TV turned on, and I saw Dante lying on a couch with the doctor on a chair beside him.

The doctor asked him questions about his regressions, like how long he'd had them and what they were about and such. Then, he told Dante to relax. To shut his eyes and empty his mind. To go back to the world of his former self.

When he was sure that Dante was there, the shrink began speaking to him.

"What do you see?"

"I'm in bed." Dante's voice seemed hushed and far away.

"I'm in bed in a big room."

"What's going on around you?"

"I'm little. Three, I think, and I'm having trouble sleeping. My parents are in my room singing to me."

"What are they singing?"

And that was when it happened. Dante began to sing, in a clear, rich tenor.

"**Li amerò fino a che le stelle non cadano nel mare e la luna e la notte si transformino in in giorno. Il sonno quello piccolo fino alla luce di mattina lucida attraverso la vostra finestra e le stelle smettono di bisbigliare il vostro nome.**"

I couldn't help it. I began to cry. In between tears, I began to sing too, and Damon along with me. This was the lullaby the two of us had sung to Gianni before bed every night. No one knew the words except him and us.

Damon stood up, taking me with him, and led me out the door and into the shrink's office, and the three of us, mother, father, and son, sang together for the first time in five hundred years.

While we sang, Andria came into the room and stared at the three of us. Dante still hadn't come out of his trance yet.

"What are you guys singing?"

And Dante said, "Something you will learn **Farfalla Piccola**."

Andria looked at him for a minute, confused, and then she said

"Oh my God. Gianni?"

I couldn't breathe.

**Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora**,

Selina

**Apple- Glad you like the story, and thanks for reviewing! Hope you like this chapter.**

**tyiagirl- Thanks! Hope you love this chapter too!**

**Bella Salvatore- Sorry it's been so long since I've updated! Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you like this chapter.**

Only Selina and OCs are mine!


	20. Verità Reale Detta a

April 8, 1994

**Caro **diary,

After Andria spoke, none of us knew what to say. Then, Dante got up off the couch, and the two of them began to converse. From the looks on their faces, it seemed like they were talking about something familiar. They were talking about Damon and me. Finally, they stopped talking and Dante held his hand out toward us, like he was presenting us to Andria. She looked at him uncertainly.

"Are you sure that's them **Fratello**? **Onkel **Johann and **Tante **Caroline always told me they died. Dead people never come back. Besides, I've seen how you and she talk." Andria gestured at me. "If that really is Mama, I doubt she would be so cordial to you after what you did."

Dante, (or should I say Gianni), sighed. "**Si**, I got what was coming to me from that standpoint. But maybe you should tell them more about _your_ life **Sorella**."

Then, Andria motioned to Dante to follow her over to where Damon and I were standing by the door. Dante stood by Damon and Andria took my hands in hers. I was noticing a real difference in the personalities of the modern-day and renaissance versions of my children. Andria, as Mia, looked in my eyes.

"I will tell you about my life, Mama. But first, tell me the one thing I don't understand. Why did you leave us?"

I heard Dante breathe in sharply, and there was an unmistakable air of anticipation in them as they looked at me. But, I didn't really think that I was the one to tell them why they had grown up without parents. I thought that was Damon's job, because after all, it had been his doing. So, much like the women that I'd seen so much on TV, I turned my face away from Mia's pleading eyes, and cast Damon a wicked glance.

"Why don't you ask your Papa? He can tell the story so much better then I can."

Damon cast me a look of panic. He had been giving me shushing motions behind Mia's back, but I really thought it was now his turn to talk.

And now, with both of our children's eyes on him, he had no choice but to continue where I had left off.

"A few weeks after Mia was born, your Mama's **Grossmutter**, who was nuts, kidnapped your mother because she wanted your mother to marry another man. She didn't like me very much. Your mother wasn't on her best guard because she was so happy about Mia being around, and apparently her grandmother thought it was the perfect opportunity. So, she took her in the middle of the night, and when they arrived in Germany, your mother was locked in a room with no food, no weaponry, and three very large men with whips. Over time, she became malnourished and weak, and the beatings they gave her every day weren't helping her condition either.

"Then, one day, they made her write a note to all of us saying that she would be much happier in Germany with the man her grandmother wanted for her and that she never wanted to see any of us again. The second we got the note, your **Zio** Johann knew something was wrong. Your mother never liked Germany much, and she certainly didn't like the man her grandmother had picked out for her."

"He treated me like I was five." I confirmed. Damon nodded.

"Anyway, to continue, the day after we got the note, your **Zio** went to rescue your mother and I dropped out of the University because I was so worried, and someone had to be with you at home. I never told anyone why I really dropped out. I let them think what they wanted, which led to some very angry exchanges between me and my father. Then, Katherine came, and I wanted to be with her just in case Selina never came back. But she turned me and your **Zio **Stefan into vampires before Johann came back. By the time they did, I was long gone. But one night, I came back and watched your mother from outside her bedroom window. She looked terrible, and I heard the doctors say that she was near death. I felt horrible. I had already lost my children, but the thought of losing her as well was more then I could bear. So that's when I decided to change her. When I did it, I was thinking of no one but myself and that is why you grew up the way you did."

After he finished, the four of us looked up to see the therapist staring at us. Then, she whipped her cell phone out of her pants pocket and dialed a number and talked. Damon and I knew the man she was talking to. Alaric. He had been in Fell's Church during Katherine's rampage, and knew a thing or two about vampires.

Finally, he came into the room and grinned at Damon and I, and gestured for me to lie on the couch. I was confused, but did as I was told. Then, he began to talk to me.

"You and Damon have been having marital troubles for a long time, haven't you Selina?"

I nodded. "Oh, so are you a marriage counselor now?"

He shook his head.

"Well then I fail to see why Damon's and my marital issues are any of your damn business."

He sighed. "From what I've heard from everyone, it seems like the issues that you have personally are connected to guilt about abandoning your children. Maybe if you talk to them, it will help ease the guilt a bit."

I sighed. Great, now we're in family therapy.

"Do we start now?"

He shook his head. "No, how about tomorrow?"

We all nodded. Okay. tomorrow, Salvatore family therapy begins.

**Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora,**

**Selina**


	21. La vita di una Figlia

April 9, 1994

**Caro** diary,

I had to practically be dragged out of bed this morning, and surprisingly, it wasn't Damon who initiated it. It was Andria and Dante. It seemed really important to them that I went.

Finally, after I forced myself to get out of bed and dress, Andria put her hand in the center of my back and led me to the garage. She and I took my car, and Damon and Dante went in Damon's car.

"So," I asked her as we drove, "remember yesterday when Dante wanted you to tell me about your life, but you got distracted? Mia, I would like you to tell me now."

"All right, Mama," she said softly. "You were right about Katherine. She was another version of Grossmutter. When I was growing up, she basically treated me the same way that Grossmutter treated you. Finally, Uncle Johan found out about it and sent me to live with **Nonno **in Florence."

I nodded. "Who's **Nonno**? Yours or mine?"

"Mine."

That was smart of Johan, sending Mia to live with Giuseppe. It was probably good for him too, seeing as both of his sons as well as me were dead.

"And how was your life?"

"Oh, much better, thank you. Not a day went by where he didn't comment on how much you and I were alike and how that warmed his heart.

"Eventually, I learned what you did. The fighting, I mean. Sometimes when we went to town, I would see the ladylike women, and I would ask to be like that, but **Nonno** always told me no, that there were better ways to live."

I nodded. "And he was right, wasn't he?"

"Yes."

"Then, when I turned fifteen, **Principe** Marco came to town on a hunting trip. I was out riding my horse in the same area he was hunting in. Eventually, it began to storm and when thunder struck, it scared my horse and I was thrown to the ground. I lost consciousness soon afterward. The next thing I remember is waking up in one of the palace guest rooms with the Prince and some of his men watching over me. He told me that they had been keeping watch over me all night.

"Well, I thanked him of course, and told him I would no longer abuse his hospitality. To my surprise, he looked at me, and said not to be ridiculous, that I could stay as long as I wished.

I said, "I beg your pardon, your highness, but I do not understand."

Then, he got a mischievous glint in his eye. "Remember when you were a young girl learning fencing?"

I nodded.

"Well, do you remember your instructor?"

"Well, Mama, I could only gasp. I couldn't believe it. The Prince had been my fencing instructor?"

I said that, and he only laughed. "That was when my brother was heir to the throne, my lady. I could do as I pleased then."

"I couldn't speak to him, or look him in the eye. Then, he took my hand.

"During those years I was teaching you to fence, I fell in love with you. You're beautiful and graceful. I love you. If it is not too much to ask of you, my lady, will you marry me?

"I swear Mama, that is what he said. That is how he proposed. Of course I said yes, and we were married the next month. Soon after, his father died, and we were crowned **Re e Regina.**

"I'm having trouble remembering more, though."

After Mia finished her story, I felt shocked. We arrived at the offices, and had our first session of therapy, but my brain was gone. Damon kept looking at me strangely. Finally, I managed to hear some of Alaric's words.

"I think all of you should go back to Florence for a bit. Maybe that will bring something back."

We all decided that was a good idea, and once we got back, Damon booked the tickets. We leave tomorrow, bright and early.

**Fino A Firenze**,

Selina


	22. Soltanto a Firenze

April 10, 1994

**Caro** diary,

I can't tell you how relieved I am to finally be home. The flight was long, but fortunately I was able to discover a fondness for little bags of pretzels that I didn't know I had before. And when I say home, I mean Florence. America is nice, but that law that they have where you can't drink until you're twenty-one? I think that's just B.S.

Anyway, when we arrived, we took a taxi from the airport to our **casa**. Did I mention that Damon got us a house in Florence? Actually, most people would probably call it a mansion, but there you go. It has my pool and my gym in it, where I work out often to keep myself in shape.

Whenever I do so though, Damon gives me funny looks and asks me why I still bother to work out. I am a vampire after all he says.

To which I respond "I've had two kids, but you can't tell, can you?" that shuts him up really fast.

We unpacked quickly and then met in the kitchen to chat. Dante had something very interesting to tell us.

"Okay, I have some interesting news, Mama. Remember when I told you about that trip I took here my senior year? Well, **Il palazzo Del mare** is only open for tours in June, July and August. Now it's closed to tourists and from what I heard, the caretaker only visits the place on the weekends."

I looked at him thoughtfully. "What are you saying, Dante?"

"I'm saying that we should go home. After all, that is where you and Papa were happiest."

Damon grinned. "Lovely sentiment Dante, but your mother is too much a moral person to break and enter, even if it might save her marriage."

Then I slammed my palms on the table. "Listen Damon, I love you and I want our problems to be fixed just as much as you do, so if you don't mind, I'm willing to bend the law a bit so that we can have much overdue time alone!"

After I finished my rant, I sat back down in my seat, and everyone was silent. Damon had a startled look in his eyes. I knew why. I'd blatantly refused to sleep with him for five hundred years and now, suddenly that was a first priority.

Doing so wasn't so easy. I packed a single small bag of clothes and we all got into the car and drove that night. When we arrived, we found that the door to the house was locked. Andria gave Dante a hairpin from her skirt pocket and he jimmied open the lock.

Then, we pushed the door open and were immediately thrown into darkness. Because of the desire of the historical society to keep the place authentic, it had no electric lighting. We held onto each others' hands until we came into a room and fell onto the bed.

"God, it's dark in here," Andria whispered once she was able to stand up again. "Does anyone have any matches or anything like that?"

"I brought a flashlight," I whispered back. "I knew how dark it would be."

I rummaged around in my bag until I found it, then I flicked it on.

The light that erupted into the room was beautiful.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Dante asked.

"You and Andria are going out, and Bella and I are staying in," Damon told him. Then he pulled some money out of his pocket and split it evenly between the two of them.

They left together and after they were gone, Damon looked at me.

"So, are we going to do this or not?"

I nodded. "Of course. Just give me a second."

I went into the bathroom and put on the stuff I'd worn last time we'd been in bed together, although this time, I felt differently. I felt like the fourteen year-old virgin I had been on our wedding night, and that made me not want to go out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Did this mean that this time it was for real then?

Finally, Damon came in to see what was taking me so long. He was wrapped in the silk sheets and I could still clearly make out his form beneath them.

"Are you coming, **Carina**?"

He asked it like the simple question that it was.

I looked back at him and said "Let's make this a bit more interesting. Did you bring a deck of cards?"

He grinned. "Strip poker?"

I nodded."You got it."

To tell you the truth, we were in bed before the game was even over. The first real time, (last time didn't count; I had wine in my system) in five hundred years wasn't difficult, and it felt good. It let the burden be lifted off my shoulders. It healed me.

**Soltanto a Firenze**,

Selina

A/n- Not over yet!


	23. Il Salvataggio Fortunato

April 11, 1994

**Caro** diary,

This morning when all of us had woken up, we decided to take a walk along the plaza. It was a nice day and the sun was out and I felt happier then I have for the longest time. When we returned home for lunch, Andria asked me to come with her to her bedroom because she needed to talk to me about something. Concerned, I asked her if anything was the matter.

"No, Mama. Just come, please."

We went into her room and she sat down on the bed and pulled me down her. Then she just looked at me.

"Andria Mia, **che cosa è la materia? Potete dirmi.**"

At that, her expression changed.

"Nothing's the matter Mama. It's just that, well, **Sono nell'amore**."

Now, it was my turn to be shocked. "What do you mean you're in love? **Quando questo è accaduto?**"

She smiled and then her expression became serious. "It happened last night when Dante and I were out. I was at a club and a man hit on me. He was good looking, and apparently was a little used to drink, so I didn't catch on to the fact that he was drunk at first. We started talking, and then he invited me into one of the back rooms. Then, once we were there, he gave me a drink. The food had made me thirsty and I hadn't had anything all night so I drank it. Then, I began to feel drowsy and I managed to make it on to the bed before I passed out.

"When I woke up, I was naked and the man was on top of me. Soon after I woke up, another guy burst into the room and pried the first guy off me. Then, they got into a fight and the man who raped me was knocked unconscious. Then, my rescuer gave me my clothes and told me to put them on so he could take me to the hospital and I could be checked out.

"When we got into his car, it finally occurred to me to ask my rescuer his name. He said it was Romeo, Mama. Can you believe that? I was so scared, and then, I was rescued by a Romeo!" at this, she burst into sobs.

"**Bambina, **are you really and truly all right? How did he know how to find you? And could you please tell me where the hell your brother was when all this was going on?"

She looked up from my shoulder where she had buried her face.

"Yes, Mama, I am all right. I feel so damn lucky. As for how Romeo knew how to find me, he told me that I had caught his eye the second I walked into the room, but he was too shy to ask me to dance, so he just watched me, kind of like a secret chaperone. So naturally, he saw when I went into the back room."

"And what about your brother?"

"After we left we agreed to separate. I know it was stupid and I know we shouldn't have done it, but it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"It's all right. The important thing is that you're safe." I said, rocking her back and forth.

Pretty soon she quieted, and then the bell sounded from the front of the house.

Andria smiled at the sound. "I'll get that Mama. Do you want to come with me?"

I nodded and followed her. She opened the door to reveal a tall, bronzed young man with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. When Andria saw him, she smiled.

"Romeo, what a pleasant surprise! Come in."

And he came in. he looked at me, and said "Andria, who's that?"

And she didn't speak for a moment. Then she said, "Romeo, this is my twin sister Bella."

He grinned. "Charmed, I'm sure."

I studied him. He didn't sound Italian.

"So Romeo," I asked, "are you from around here?"

He shook his head. "No, my father was born in Kassel, Germany and my mother is American."

"Oh. So how did the name Romeo get bestowed on you?"

He smiled. He had a sweet smile.

"It's actually more of a nickname. My real name is William Falkstein."

And when I heard that, I was rendered speechless for the first time in my life.

**Fino a che non veniamo a contatto di ancora**,

Selina

**Sarah- The reason why there's so much Italian is because Selina is Italian.**


	24. Il Rilascio Finale

April 15, 1994

**Caro **diary,

I've had trouble thinking about what to write the past few days and that's why I haven't. Mia and William have gone out frequently, and every time they do, she looks at me funny because I've been wanting to ask him if he knows anything at all about his family history. Seriously, the guy could be a dead-ringer for Wilhelm. But I guess that if I _do_ ask him, and he is Wilhelm and he does happen to regress, most of what he tells me probably won't mean anything since I left his life so early. **Che cosa da fare, che cosa da fare.**

I suppose I could ask James. We still write each other every so often. It's kind of nice and surprisingly, Damon doesn't mind.

I haven't told Mia and Gianni about Wilhelm yet. I probably should, at least that's what Alaric would tell me to do. But with his possible reincarnation here, I want to be absolutely sure of everything before I allow the truth to come out. All right, I will ask James. I know where he lives, and I've been meaning to leave this house and explore a bit. This is the perfect opportunity. More later.

**

* * *

**

** La Sera Presto**

I had a lovely day at James's and afterward, he insisted on coming home with me to see William for himself. He could be more certain if he could see him with his own eyes, he told me.

When Mia and William came back and found James and I in the kitchen, Mia smiled at me first.

"Mama, did you bring a guest? Does Papa know?"

I nodded. "Of course he knows. But even if he didn't, he owes me anyway."

That made her laugh. Then, she smiled at James. "Hi James! What brings you here?"

He cleared his throat. "Andria, your mother tells me that you're dating someone who might be of interest to me."

She frowned slightly. "Interest to you? Interest to you how?"

I lightly forced her into a chair across from us. "Mia, do you remember the first day you came to Fell's Church?"

She nodded. "Of course I do. That was the day you killed Katherine."

James nodded. "But do you know _why_ your mother killed Katherine?"

Mia nodded. "That's easy. She got drunk on **Genazzano** and went crazy."

I could tell James wanted to laugh at that. "No, that's not why she killed Katherine. That's why it was easier for her to do, but that's not why she did it."

"Why'd she do it then?"

James looked at me. I guess he wanted me to be the one to tell her.

I looked her in the eyes and tried to keep my voice steady.

"I killed her because James and I were married once a long time ago. Not as long ago as me and your father, but awhile ago."

She looked stunned. "You guys were married once?"

Just then, there was a sound by the kitchen entrance. I looked up to see William looking very handsome in his date clothes. Mia motioned for him to come sit next to her.

When he did and got a glimpse of James, he went pale.

"You know, you look a lot like my great-uncle who died in World War I."

James smiled at that. "What would you say if I told you I _was_ your great-uncle who died in World War I?"

Surprisingly, at that, William's face relaxed. "I'd ask you how you felt about me being your great-grandfather times about a thousand."

This time, it was James's eyes that widened. "What do you mean? And I know that's highly exaggerated."

"Every since I was a little boy, I've had all these really depressing dreams where I'm living in the Renaissance."

Mia's eyes widened. "Do you recall seeing anyone who looks like my mother in your dreams?"

He nodded. "Yes, except she's really young."

I nodded. "You dream these things, as you've guessed, because you're the reincarnation of my ex-fiance Wilhelm Falkstein."

Mia looked at me, amazed. "geez Mama, how many men did you have in your life?"

" A few. And I hurt them each somehow."

The four of us spent the rest of the night together, and I finally got around to telling Mia the whole story about me and James. Now I wonder how Damon's going to take Mia dating Wilhelm's reincarnation when I tell him about it tomorrow.

**Fino Alla Mattina,**

**Selina**


	25. Lasciando Giù Le Pareti

April 16, 1994

**Caro** diary,

I've told him. I've told Damon about Mia and William and who William really is. I also told him some things that I didn't want to tell him, but now that I think about it, I'm glad that I did.

I told him right after we got back from Rome. We were sitting alone in the front room when I told him. I looked him straight in the eye before I lost my courage and said

"Damon we need to talk."

He looked concerned. "**Bambi**, what about?"

I stopped a minute and chewed on my left thumbnail to give myself time to think. Then, I put it bluntly.

"That guy Mia is dating is the reincarnation of Wilhelm."

At first I thought he'd be upset or something, but he didn't look mad. Just surprised.

"Really? Mia seems to like him a lot more then you did."

I nodded. "He's changed a lot since I knew him, and watching them has made me think about us."

His eyebrows knitted. "What about us?"

I struggled to find words. "I mean, about everything. Did we do something wrong? Is that why we were able to stay apart for so long and live with it? Is it my fault?"

To my horror, I began to cry then. Damon put his hand under my chin and tipped my face up so I was looking into his eyes and wiped my tears away withhis other hand.

"**Bambi**, look at me. We didn't do anything wrong. We did all right. Nothing is your fault. You have done wonderfully. Every relationship has snags and we'd be doing something wrong if we were perfect.

"I know where all our problems are. You looked at my mother as a mother figure as much as I did. Her loss affected us both greatly. Am I right?"

I nodded, surprised at his perception.

He continued. "There was one thing she used to say to me a lot before she died.

"**L'amore non può sempre essere perfetto. L'amore è amore giusto."**

I nodded. "Love isn't perfect, love is just love. How fitting."

He laughed a bit. "You know, I haven't seen you cry in years."

I smiled. "I guess I always thought it showed weakness on my part, and what with you and Stefan being so messed up and everything, I guess I thought that meant I had to be the strong one."

He sat next to me and put his arms around me. Then, he said, "I wish you would have cried. Katherine tried to do that, but the truth was we didn't care about her enough for her tears to have any effect. Whereas if you would have cried, we would have straightened up in a second because we both loved you so much."

"What would you have done if you had really known I was in trouble in Germany? Katherine knew about that the whole time, you know."

He sighed. "**Bambi**, I think that if Stefan and I would've known the truth about you and Germany, it would've saved everything. We would have come to rescue you together, Katherine wouldn't have changed either of us…"

"We could've grown old together."

He nodded. "Exactly. **Bambi**, I've been so stupid. None of this would've happened if it wasn't for me."

I shook my head. "On the contrary, there are some times when I'm glad this all happened."

Damon laughed a bit. "Oh, really? Like when?"

"If this hadn't happened, then Stefan would've never seen Elena again. I never would have gotten my car, and of course I would've never gotten to make Katherine disappear."

He laughed. "I thought you'd see that as a plus. Do you want to go back tomorrow?"

"What, you mean to America?"

He nodded.

I smiled. "Yes, I think I feel reformed enough. What about you?"

He agreed. We talked to Mia and Gianni later, and Mia said that William had to go as well to visit his parents, so they'll still get to be together.

I'm glad everything is out in the open between Damon and I now. It makes everything seem so much better.

**Per amare, vita e l'America,**

**Selina**


	26. I Miei Pensieri Finali

April 19, 1994

**Caro** diary,

We've been back a few days, but I've been too tired to write you. I've also been doing a lot of thinking. Ever since I put every feeling I have out in the open, I've felt much better, like I said before. There were some little things that I didn't tell Damon that mattered little to my mental health. Like the times where I'd sit in bed and wonder to myself about what things would have been like if Stefan had been the eldest Salvatore brother, and it had been him that had given me the support and the problems. That would have been weird I think.

I've been thinking as well about what Damon said about love. I would have never expected him to say something so deep and meaningful. He's a charmer, yes, but even in my experience, after the age of eight he didn't go beyond that. I guess there are different kinds of love that a person can have, and that you need a bit of every one to feel complete. Well, actually, there are different kinds of love, but that's a sociological theory by Sternberg, and it's long and complicated, so I won't get into it because I don't remember it all, but what I do remember is there are three types of love. Companionate, the kind of friendship, like I had with my best friend Isabella, and like my mother had with Damon and Stefan's mother, fatuous, which is purely physical and more commonly known as lust, and then romantic, which is actually being in love and feeling something more then physical.

I read something in a book once: **Essere nell'amore non deve sempre essere amava, il vostro amico può essere il vostro amante ed il lust è più una tortura allora qualche cosa di reale.**

To be in love isn't always to be loved, your friend can be your lover, and lust is more a torture then something real.

That basically sums up the bad points. I agree with lust. I don't like it. I've never lusted after anyone. Stefan would say that's my sensibility showing up again.

He says that all my adventure and sense of spontaneity is probably somewhere within me screaming to be let out. I agree with that, and wish that there could be more to me. I've tried to change the way I am, but that's not easy. I missed out on too much. But Damon and I have time and I know he doesn't mind. He wants as much as I do for me to be all right with myself. I've been watching Stefan and Elena and Mia and William, trying to imitate what they do, but Damon says I don't need to learn. He says I know everything already. Maybe I should just shut my eyes and jump. People must see me differently then I do. They must see me as cosmopolitan and perfect. Why shouldn't they? I mean, I'm a genius, I can play just about every civilized sport on the planet and I'm beautiful. I'm just one example of the adage that there's more to some people then meets the eye. But I want to start over. What the result of this will be, I don't know, but I do know one thing: by exposing my soul to those I love, I've made sure that I won't have to go anywhere alone anymore. And if we hit some snags along the way, that's fine too. **L'amore non è perfetto. L'amore è amore giusto.**

Love isn't perfect, love is just love.

And so diary, I end you because you've freed me. Before now, you were someone to lean on, someone who was always there. But I need to go back to real and be outside my imagination and the past and be more in touch with reality.

But before I close you forever, let me say this: **Grazie per le cose che della tenuta non potrei mantenere, i giorni persi ed ultimi della mia vita. Per questo sono riconoscente. Mantenga i miei segreti e le mie rotture all'interno voi perché più non ho bisogno di.**

Thank you for holding things I couldn't keep, the lost and last days of my life. For this I am grateful. Keep my secrets and my tears inside you because I no longer need to.

**A bellezza di vita,**

**Selina **

**L'Estremità (The End)**

A/N- If you'd like to read a story about Selina as a Vampire Diaries television character, check out my adaption entitled _The Lady in Red!_


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